These last few months have been so overwhelming that I’ve wanted to pack it all in and go back to some form of retail job. I’m not kidding when those very words came out of my mouth after one of my shows last month.

At the beginning of the year, putting on a nation wide tour seemed like a crazy dream, and now I’m in full swing of it and there have been so many moments where I ask myself ‘why am I doing this?’

I have felt so much fear over it all that it has consumed me to want to give up, to just quit and say a big F!ck It to it all!

I never thought things would be this challenging! All the things that happen in the background to pull something of this magnitude off is more than I could have anticipated.

As I type this right now, I feel some form a release, because I know that at some point in your life you’ve felt this way too. It’s in the ‘too hard basket’ so it’s easier to quit right?

I’ve given myself so many deadlines… after this show (insert xyz) I’ll pull the plug on the tour. I cannot begin to think how many times I’ve had this discussion with my tour manager and my closest family and friends.

Then I think back to my WHY, why doing this tour was so important to me. What was my drive and reason for wanting to do this?

I think back to that fire inside of me, this calling I’ve had in my whole entire being of why I even do this work in the first place.

I do this because of the EMPOWERMENT it gives people. The HEALING that is able to occur. The CONNECTIONS it creates and the LOVE that is spreads.

This is what I was born to do…literally. I had an Astrology reading done a few months ago, and my purpose this lifetime is to be an interpreter for the dead! I was born to be a medium, I was born to be a teacher of spirituality and I was born to bring something new to it all… all of this because of the day and time I was born! Go figure huh?!

So I can’t QUIT, no matter how much I want to! No matter how vulnerable I feel, no matter of the lack and fear I feel, I cannot and will not give up!

The gratitude and joy I have also been privileged to feel during this tour has been way more than I ever could have imagined. I have been able to be a part of something that is creating history and changing the way mediumship will be done in the future – all because of this Whispers from Above Nation Wide 2017 tour.

None of that would be possible if I gave up… I wouldn’t have been able to make a difference to all the lives that have been in those rooms (both living and in spirit) if I quit.

The rewards really do out way the fear. I’ve really come to realise that it really doesn’t matter how many people are in the room… there could be 2 people or there could be 200. None of that matters now, because I know that I am creating the difference in the lives of those who need it right now. I only have to read the feedback from all the shows I’ve done so far to know that this is all worth it.

I’m not a quitter, I may have dabbled in it, but I will not quit.

Over the last 2 weeks I’ve completely surrendered all outcomes for the tour and my work to spirit. I am allowing for it all to unfold as it should rather than how I think it should all go. None of this is about me, and when I allow my EGO to take over and want to quit or throw a tantrum over an outcome, then I’m making it about me. My work is about YOU and about SPIRIT.

Lastly I want to finish with this
A chapter from the book ‘Light is the new Black’ by Rebecca Campbell which has played a massive lesson is shifting all of this negative joo joo around me.

Your greatest fear is the Gatekeeper to your highest calling

In this chapter Rebecca talks about how the higher the calling, the more fear you will have around it. That when we are the verge of expansion our core fear is triggered – usually from some childhood experience. She asks for us to change of perspective and look at fear as an opportunity to expand rather than something that is holding us back. To look at fear through the light and see it as a sign that you are on the right track. If you’re not uncomfortable you’re probably not growing. So when fear shows up, give it a high five.

I really hope that through opening up to you that you may be able to heal a part of yourself that has been holding you back to. That something in this helps you to see that you are on the verge of something incredible and to hang in there.

Lots of love
Melissa Mills xx
NZs Modern Medium
“Empowering individuals to abundantly live on purpose”

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